Over the years I have had to give up more and more of my career in order to accommodate the growing needs of our family, and whilst it has been my choice, it’s one I don’t think was fully in my hands. Like a lot of families, it just makes financial sense when one of you is earning more than the other. I know many mothers who have had to make this sacrifice and do hold some regrets for not prioritising themselves because when at the moment it’s hard to look beyond the current demands of raising a young family whilst balancing everything else.
If I could go back in time, here is the advice I would give myself.
- You don’t have to do it alone. Ask for help be it through your partner, extended family, or any other means of childcare. Creating a solid support network, one that you are comfortable with and that ultimately gives you peace of mind will make the world of difference.
- Everyone will have an opinion on your life choices, you don’t need to entertain a single one of them. The choices you make are your own and your family’s. You do know best.
- 3. If you choose to go back to work, it will very quickly feel like all you are doing is working and rushing around to make it back for when the nursery/ school closes. Again make sure you have someone who can share this burden, be it a partner close friend, or a place that gives you the flexibility to be late on occasion without bringing on palpitations in the process!
- Be vocal about your needs in the workplace, something I really didn’t do when it came down to negotiating any kind of flexibility when I first went back + being the only female employee, made me less confident to do so. Your family is a priority and there is zero shame in asking for support from your employers. Becoming a parent takes nothing away from what you are capable of. Remember that.
- Be confident, fake it if you have to, we all get imposter syndrome, especially when returning back to the office after time away. They are just silly thoughts and not the reality at all. You can do this.
